"Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous."- Carrie Bradshaw
It's that time of the year again. The day you walk into the stores and envision yourself knocking down all the red, white, and pink hearts or stuffed bears decorations. If this has happened to you, you might as well avoid your phone at all costs so you don't see the obligatory social media couples posts. Those posts usually include my all time favorite caption " It's Valentine's Day everyday for us". Boooooooooooooooooo.
Then you finally come to the ultimate realization that you really thought you would have a valentine after literally curving everyone and their dad for months? Seriously though.
Yep. Its the ONE day its not about you and your independence/freedom from being tied down. But as our auntie Carrie Bradshaw would say, today is actually about you. Because being single on THIS day won't kill you especially with us in a panoramic (IYKYK- I love Gunna lol). Take this day to love on yourself a little more, trust me you deserve it. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship that is formed in your life. Here are my thoughts on how to survive Valentine's Day as a Single in the City, that would make Miss Bradshaw and her girls proud.
DRESS UP and put that fly SHIT on. Most of us have been at home in sweats, comfy clothes, glasses, and messy hair for entirely too long. I for one have been feeling the side effects of quarantine fatigue...vacation me please! Until then, if you're up to it, put that SHIT on. Grab that dress out the closet, or the one you recently ordered with no intentions of going anywhere soon and put it on. Do some makeup, throw on some heels, jewelry, and perfume like you would on a night out in the city.
DECORATE the place. Buy some balloons, flowers, roses, anything red, white, or pink (like those exact items you wanted to knock over in the store earlier) and set up a nice ambiance for yourself. You can even light some of those candles you've been waiting to use.
Now for the FOOD and DRINKS. I mean it is Valentine's Day so chocolate and champagne is a must! Chocolate covered strawberries, cupcakes, wine and your favorite takeout food is all you need. If you want to get super fancy create a charcuterie board with your favorite meats, cheese, fruit, nuts etc.
The MUSIC PLAYLIST. Now its time to set the mood to celebrate the day. Put on your go-to playlist of your favorite love or slow songs. I'm talking about the playlist that if someone hands you the AUX, THAT'S the one you want to play. Right now my playlist includes: Jazmine Sullivan, H.E.R., Jhene Aiko, Giveon, Party Next Door, The Weeknd, DVSN, Sade, Chaka Khan, and any '90s R&B music will get the mood right. *record scratch* Try not to get into your feelings too much so mix it up with some Meg, Bey, Rihanna, Drake, and anything uptempo.
Then my favorite part..take PICTURES. You didn't dress up and decorate for no reason. Before you jump on FaceTime to show you-know-who why you look so good, take some fire selfies. Mirror pics, bathroom pics, full length pics and don't forget to show off YOU.
You can do all of this alone or INVITE a few friends over. The day before Valentine's Day is Galentine's Day ( a day to gather with your girlfriends to celebrate female friendships). So if you're comfortable with it, invite your close besties over for a drink, some food, and take pictures. Because who but your girls is going to get all the right angles?
And if you're not feeling none of the above-a MOVIE binge watch party is a perfect alternative. Put on those comfy pajamas, pour a glass of wine (or take the bottle to the head) grab some popcorn and turn on one of your favorite V-Day Rom Coms. Here is a list of The Barker's favorite Rom Com V-Day Movies (in no particular order) that you can start with:
Crazy Rich Asians
About Last Night
Two can Play that Game
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate
Southside with You
Jumping the Broom
However you celebrate Valentine's Day this year, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Happiness starts within you always. Relationships can be great but the most important one is the one with yourself. Remember this, your significant other is meant to complement you. They are there to make you a better person and should improve and add meaning to your life. If they are not equipped to do that, stay single & ready to mingle. Experiencing the love you truly deserve will be worth the wait and make celebrating Valentine's Day even more special.
"Don't forget to fall in love with yourself. Single and fabulous, exclamation point" - Carrie Bradshaw.
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers and singles from The Barker!